Hmm…Another Year Bites The Dust

2013?   2013?   2013?

I’m not sure what my plans are for the New Year, but I don’t like the sound of 2013.   It’s an odd-numbered year, and I don’t accept odd-numbered years as authentic.  I would prefer to have all even-numbered years.  So we’d skip 2013 and go right on to 2014 and then 2016 and so on.   You get the picture.

But The Red Man forges forward into 2013 with his customary good will toward Peeps and Pups everywhere – yes to the ends of the earth including evidently all of his new cyberspace Amigos from Greece and the United Arab Emirates and India.  Clearly my philosophy transcends boundaries and languages and barriers that often separate the fortunate and less fortunate and downright unfortunate and all of my Sports Fans agree on one thing: The Red Man is always right.

Which brings me to the Fiscal Cliff in the US of A that looms large in the Grand Scheme of Political Things as we say goodbye to 2012 on this side of the Atlantic.   Sweet Jesus.   Never have so many argued for so long for so little.   I mean I hate to say it but the old woman Slow may be on to something.  She’s afraid Hope is on the Rocks and those Washington VIPeeps can’t agree on anything and whatever they’re drinkin up there’ ain’t workin’ any more.  Pass around the Peace Pipe, if you don’t mind.  Seriously.  Smoke a joint…mellow out.  You guys need to gather ’round the campfire and sing Kum Ba Ya and get over yourselves.   You ain’t no Great Shakes and the more you argue the sillier you look.  When you really think about it, John and Harry and Mitch sound like members of The Kingston Trio.  They can sing, but can they keep us from falling off the Fiscal Cliff?  Heh, heh.

Where IS that damned Fiscal Cliff?  Has anybody SEEN the Fiscal Cliff?  How will we know we’ve fallen off it if we don’t even know where it is?  I fear the worst.  I’m afraid I will be walkin’ along mindin’ my own business one bright sunshiny day and the next thing you know I will have fallen off the Fiscal Cliff.  Cowabunga Howdy Doody.  Somebody deliver me from myself…I am undone.

And so I am far too upset to make any New Year’s Resolutions tonight.  I was very relieved when the Mayans made the mistake about the end of the world, but that anxiety has been replaced by the Fiscal Cliff Fiasco.   Never fear, however.  The Red Man will return to top form with his usual Secrets for Success in the new year soon.  Stay tuned.

Get me outta here Percy…lead me away from the Fiscal Cliff please…