Well Amigos, the old woman Slow has been in bed for the past four days with assorted ailments and The Red Man says frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn. Serves her right for one of her clandestine visits to our old home place on Worsham Street last week without so much as a fare thee well or kiss my paw to anyone at Casa de Canterbury. She has a sinus infection, thank yew very much. I am sure she caught that flying the sickly skies – plus she came back hobbling along with a cane.

Now there’s a story for you. According to what she told Pretty when she got back from the Texas Trip, Slow was in charge of the two younger of the Fabulous Huss Brothers while their mother was doing her morning treadmill workout in their  Worsham Street casa Friday morning. Oscar, the oldest was in school and Commander Huss was away teaching Navy pilots how to fly.

 

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Oscar goes to kindergarten – he is now 6 

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George is the baby (2) – such a sweet expression

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Dwight (4) – the picture of innocence

Apparently the two younger Huss Brothers asked Slow if she would take them to ride their trikes down the street in the huge Jehovah’s Witness Church parking lot which the church had paved from Paradise.  Heh, heh. My little Paved Paradise and made it a Parking Lot joke. Slow was happy to take them so the boys put on their shoes for the adventure and off they went. Hi, ho, hi, ho.

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 After a lengthy play time in the JWC parking lot, Slow told the boys they needed to make their way back home – at which point the events took an unfortunate turn. The conversation must have gone something like this.

Slow: All right, boys, let’s head back to the house.

Dwight: I’m not going home.

Slow: Yes, you are.

Dwight: No, I’m not.

And with this, he turned his trike around and started pedaling as fast as he could in the opposite direction. Lickety-split fast pedaling. Slow lunged to catch George who had turned around to follow Dwight, but George was too quick for her, and he took off like the Hounds of the Baskervilles were after him, too.

Of course, the old woman Slow started running after them. Running, mind you. As if. Well, she ran through the streets and she ran through the JWC parking lot which is where the Huss Brothers retraced their route. She hollered and hollered for them to stop, and the louder she hollered – the faster they pedaled.

They pedaled all the way to Old Plantersville Road, which had lots more traffic than Worsham Street and that was when Slow panicked and stopped to text Mother Huss for help. She found out later Mother Huss had been on the phone with a neighbor who was convinced federal troops were about to invade Texas so she didn’t see the text right away. That was a hard conversation to cut short.

By this time Slow saw the runaways had crossed OPR and pedaled into the New Old Montgomery Cemetery and were racing along the U-shaped paved road through the stones and markers. They were headed up and around so Slow stopped to catch her breath and wisely decided to watch them and head them off when they came around to OPR again.

The next events were a blur, according to Slow, but somehow she yanked the trikes away from both boys who were stunned to see she had outwitted them and even more surprised to see Mother Huss who by now had caught up with them and spanked each one as the solitary car on OPR stopped to allow this drama to unfold. The car was a Driver’s Ed vehicle, and the student driver was sure to have the best story of the day.

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Where did we go wrong?

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All’s well that ends well, as The Red Man is fond of saying, and the younger Huss Brothers were brought home safe and sound by their mother. Slow returned safe…but sound was a different matter. She hasn’t been mobile on her own since then.  Running at her age was a bit too ambitious.

The Red Man is unsympathetic. Talk about sneaking off. Dwight and George at least had the common decency of telling Slow their plan. The old woman Slow told no one about hers except maybe Pretty but Pretty is unreliable lately due to the fact she has resigned her position at the Mast General Store and is giddy, giddy, giddy with her new freedom. Sweet Lady Gaga. Pretty is free. Slow is under house arrest – confined to her bed – with a new set of pills to swallow.

Get me outta here, Percy…I think I’m losing my grip on the universe…stay tuned, Sports Fans.