And this is not trashing Camp Bow Wow in the least! But, when the Trumpet of the Lord shall sound and Time shall be no more, and the morning breaks Eternal Bright and Fair, and the Saved of earth shall gather over on the Other Shore, and the Roll is Called up Yonder, I’ll be there. When the roll is called up yonder, etc., etc., etc. Of course, you know that this is a Famous Peep Hymn with words that bamboozle my mind. Pretty and Slow LOVE to sing this song on our Road Trips late at night when they need a little mental pick-me-up to keep us going to the next La Quinta. The tireder they are, the LOUDER they sing, let me tell you. God forbid they find the Alan Jackson Precious Memories cd. They’ll sing those ol’ Southern Baptist Songs along with Alan and his wife FOREVER. Since Pretty and Slow are both Bible Belters, they can burst into gospel music at the drop of a hat. Then, they’ll congratulate themselves on their excellent Memories of All the Words, since they can’t remember the words to ANY of the songs on Glee and just hum along. Pathetic.
Regardless, I’m not sure where Up Yonder is supposed to be or Who is calling some kind of roll, but clearly it is the Place to Be when you hear a trumpet blowing or catch a glimpse of Eternal Bright and Fair. By the way, I’m pretty sure I see Eternal Bright every time I see lightning. Makes me shiver and shake uncontrollably. Confession time. The Red Man hates a noisy storm ALL the time and hates a quiet rain SOME of the time because it can always get noisy on you in a heartbeat. Can’t trust it, can’t trust it, can’t trust it!
When you move along to Saved of Earth, I think that’s when we figure out just WHO is making it to the Most Desirable Place on another shore which we don’t know what that means but it had to rhyme with no more, as in Time shall be no more and the saved of Earth are gathering on another shore. So I’m just assuming I’ll be among the Saved of Earth headed for the other shore. Now, here’s my problem. I’m afraid if Slow and Pretty are in charge of this trip, they might leave me at Camp Bow Wow. Why do I think this? Well, let me tell you something.
This week the old woman Slow lumbered around and loaded moi, Chelsea the ball-obsessed Black Lab and Mr. Smokey Lonesome Ollie into the pickup truck like we were headed for an adventure to the Quinine Hill Park. Pure chicanery and skullduggery. The next thing we knew we were unceremoniously dropped off at Camp Bow Wow. Yessiree, yessirree, yessirree! One by one we were led away to CBW. Of course, they were happy to see us and nice as they can be at CBW so we erroneously assumed that we were there for a day visit. WRONG. We were OVERNIGHT campers. I heard that old woman tell the Bearded Peep she’d be back to get us the NEXT day. I was mortified. I don’t DO overnights away from my Peeps very well. As a matter of fact, I find it difficult to maintain my cool in the midst of so many Pups. Not a HOT one in the bunch this time, either. Sigh. Curses. Foiled Again.
Hmmm…and they always leave Annie, the Old Passive One, at home with them whenever the rest of us are carted away. I’m thinking they had some BIG PLANS for the LOVE MONTH this week and decided our presence wasn’t required. So, you see where I’m going with this, don’t you? If they’ll take us to Camp Bow Wow on a whim and we MISS a LOVE MONTH activity, who’s to say that we’ll be there when they start calling rolls up Yonder? I’m thinking Yonder must be in Washington, D. C. because they’re always having roll calls up there on C-Span, so maybe I wouldn’t be missing all that much. Still, it’s the principle of the thing.
I’ve been so exhausted I’ve slept all day and now I woke up in the middle of the night and can’t sleep. I feel like I’ve been rode hard and put up wet. When Pretty came to get us at noon, I could have kissed her beautiful face. I did do a few flips and twirls, but I’ve been a walking Zombie ever since. Chelsea has been laid up on the sofa all day, and Ollie has been stretched out dead to the world on the king-sized bed. I’ve been so tired I haven’t known where to go so I moved from pillar to post. And Slow must have had quite a time while we were gone! The Old Woman can’t keep her eyes open for more than an hour today. She’s wasted. I’m afraid she’d miss the Roll Call herself if it came today!
Well, Sports Fans, I might be able to get back to sleep so I’ll call it a night. If something Important comes up – like a Roll Call Up Yonder or anything – look for me at Camp Bow Wow!
Red, you don’t know how lucky a dog you are. If you were my mangy mutt, I’d be dropping you off at Bagram Air Force Base, not Camp Bow Wow. And I’d probably “forget” ever to pick you up again!
Oh, Dave, Oh, Dave,
You’re such a Kidder Peep, but I will cut you some slack ALWAYS because you are the Daddy of the Baby Boy Peep!!
Here’s my enemies list, in order:
2a) bin Laden
5) Pol Pot
That’s right, Red: I hate you more than GWYNETH PALTROW!!!
Thank God I came in behind Hitler but TIED with bin Laden??? And ahead of Gwyneth Paltrow??? Now, that’s a low blow for moi! I’m sensing a twinge of approach/avoidance conflict, but I’m sure we can work out any differences when we see each other again. What’s a little disharmony among friends?!
Yeah, Red, I’m on to you.
Oh sure, you’re all “Aren’t I cute, a philosophizing dog. I’m SOOOO clever. I can make sardonic comments about Peep behavior. Cheer me on as I chase the bulls. Love my cuz I’m the RED MAN!”
Yeah, I know you. Yes, you’re delightful. Sure, you’re almost smart. Stick out your tongue and the peeps melt.
But we’ve said all those things about the Paltrow and look at the damage she’s done!
I’m on to you and your evil deeds and your plots to take over the world and your bad doggie breath (Better than Paltrow’s, though, I’ll give you that.)
That’s why you’re on my list, Red Man. You’re goin’ down.
Dave, you are hysterical!! But, you ain’t right, as we say in the South!!! I am LOL, LOL, LOL!!! I Can’t let Red read this before the weekend, or it might worry him, so I’ll save it for him for later…yes I see the resemblance to the damage Gwyneth Paltrow has already done! Slow
Found yuor web blog through Google. You know I am subscribing to your feed.
The Red Man LOVES a subscriber!!
Yeah, you’re right – they’re not leavin’ The Red Man, are they?