Every once in a while I hear the old woman Slow talking to Pretty about back in the good old days when she taught accounting classes at a community college in South Carolina. Evidently one of her favorite courses to teach was something called Internal Auditing. Can you imagine anything more boring?? Boring. Super Boring. But Slow can remember a few tidbits from those classes she taught thirty years ago even though she can’t remember to watch The Good Wife on Sunday nights. Whatever. Anyway, Slow told Pretty every theft involves two major components: rationalization and opportunity. For once in her life, the old woman was right.
Take last night, for example. Two of the Little Women of Worsham Street came over to our house for a visit. Auntie C was kind enough to bring Cake Balls of all flavors and smells to share with Slow and Bull Rider Lisa. She had evidently been to a Christmas Party and the Party Peep sent a whole bunch of leftover Cake Balls home with Auntie C. How nice. You gotta love someone with Generosity. ‘Tis the Season of good cheer and good food, right?
Step One: Rationalization.
I’m sure the Party Peep would be thrilled to know Auntie C shared her delicious Cake Balls with her neighbors AND their Dog.
Step Two: Opportunity.
The Little Women of Worsham Street left five of the Cake Balls on the plate in the den for today because they said they couldn’t possibly eat more than two apiece because they were SOOOO RICH. Slow walked out of the den with the Little Women to see them to the front door and decided to feed Paw Licker Annie before she fed The Red Man. Big mistake, old woman.
The Red Man loves him some Cake Balls and guess what? It’s impossible to eat just one, and they’re not really all THAT rich. Heh, heh.
Don’t worry, Amigos, The Red Man has a stomach of Iron and Steel but I have to admit I became somewhat comatose last night. Today is a better day, if you catch my drift.
Slow keeps muttering something about my having Two Strikes this week and one more Strike and I’m OUT. We’ll see.
In the meantime, Sports Fans, keep on the alert for opportunities that come your way. Life may offer you some free Cake Balls – and you know you deserve one.