So Pretty called the old woman Slow early Sunday morning and said she was on the way to Charleston with her European Peep Amiga to catch the finals of the Family Circle Tennis Tournament on Daniel Island. Of course, Slow was all happy for Pretty to have a tennis adventure and a wholesome outdoor activity on an Easter Sunday blah, blah, blah. Yeah, whatever. I swear the daffy old twit loves the sound of her own voice when she’s having a conversation with Pretty. Evidently Pretty has the patience of a saint when it comes to cell phone listening mode.
Guess who was in the bright sunshiny stands having the best time with Pretty and the rest of the Tennis Peep Fans on an Easter Sunday afternoon? Phil Mickelson? Nope, not Phil Mickelson. He was playing golf in the final round of The Masters in Augusta. Oops – I didn’t mean to mention the Augusta National Golf Club with its all-male membership policy in the same breath as the Family Circle. My bad. I can’t believe the old woman Slow with her feminist politics continues to tune it in on TV every year. Her bad.
Billie Jean King! the Queen Mother of the women’s professional tennis monarchy, was right there in the middle of the VIPeep boxes in Charleston and having a big time watching Her Royal Highness Serena Williams whip some Lucie Safarova ass. I’m talking Serena opened up a big ol’ can of Whip Ass in this tournament and looked like the champion she’s been in years gone by. Plus, she had the HAIR going on for her, too…
Yessiree, she had some HAIR coming AND going. I say you go girl with your BIG HAIR and your BIG SERVE and don’t ever let anybody CUT that hair like the Biblical Iron Man Samson did because we all know how that worked out for him. Not good.
So Serena wins the tournament and Billie Jean King gets another Court named for her. Nice.
And while all this excitement is taking place in South Carolina, Slow and one of the Little Women of Worsham Street drove to see Granny Selma who is as old as dirt and not in her right mind any more. Granny S wasn’t even interested in what the Easter Bunny brought her and she’d gotten a beautiful basket full of chocolate goodies which are her most favorite. Oh, well. Save the basket. Granny S can have Easter any day she wants to.
I have to tell you I’m saying goodbye to Easter and the Bunnies and the chocolate goodies and the tennis and the golf and am kicking back on the porch on Worsham Street tonight. If the moon’s still full, I may do a little howling later on.
Thanks for stopping by, Sports Fans…hope your weekend was fun and remember it’s only 5 days until Friday! Get me outta here, Percy…